To Thine Own Self, Be Food

Two meanings, for me, that particular phrase: I have three children, that's three separate incidents of labor...they are my fruit, so to speak. And the countdown is on...less than a month until my special little fruits return to school.  Get this: I will have two children in high school and one in his last year of elementary.  Most of the time, I don't really believe it...I don't certainly feel that old.  Anyway... I have a garden, and it is that time of season to begin the harvest and reap the fruits of those labors, so to speak. My father-in-law calls me yesterday and asks if I'd like sweet corn.  Sharing the fruits of his labors, as it were.  Of course I say yes, all the while wondering what the Bejesus I'll do with all this corn.  Remember, we planted three rows in my parents' garden and we are now picking all those as well.  And there's only so much sweet corn one can really eat before the ol' digestive system just shuts down. In my humb...

The Phantom Menace Attack of the Clones  Revenge of the Sith  A New Hope The Empire Strikes Back Return of the Jedi The Force Awakens All Star Wars movie titles.  Pretty succinct, but with enough wordage to pique your interest, yes? That's kind of what I was going for with today's blog title...and while it doesn't really fit in with the jargon of the SW franchise, it's got that same edgy terseness. At least, I think so.  Just agree with me for now.  It'll make me feel better. So.  You've heard that saying, "it's not what you know, it's who you know"? or "things happen for a reason"?  How about this one: "Oh, dear gods, what did I just do?" Well... Less than a week ago, I purchased a food truck.  No, I don't plan on carrying on Fred Hickory's legacy of Original Ozark Mountain BBQ.  I do plan on driving around, though, and feeding people out of this truck.   I'm learning a lot about filling o...

Today was one of the hottest, most humid days so far this summer here in Iowa.  Pretty unbearable, really, until I decided to take my two youngest kids to the local pool. The first time I go every year always gives me pause because I'm really looking at two things: swimsuits and tattoos and the trends I might notice in each. If I were to write about my own personal history of swimsuits, it would be very simple: no bikinis, two maternity swimsuits, a host of forgettable one-pieces, a MiracleSuit, and then in my 30s, I began to wear the Lands' End look popular for many, many mothers across the nation: Thank you, Lands' End.  She is lovely. Don't get me wrong, this is a cute outfit.  I love the color and paisley is one of my favorite patterns.  The straps are adjustable for comfort, and the underwire supports big boobs. The bright pattern distracts from the baby pooch leftovers, and the comfy shorts provide upper thigh coverage so that a.) other swimmers don'...

I admit, caramelized onions don't sound terribly appealing.  Probably because onions are juicy and pungent and a bit spicy.  And it's hard to get past the word caramelized without seeing the word caramel , which brings a sweet, brown candy or sauce to mind.  Hard to put those two things together, I grant you. In the culinary world, caramelizing is a process to bring forth the natural sugars found in most fruits, vegetables, and meats.  It's what happens when you cook a hamburger or a steak - why the red meat turns brown.  It's why bread browns when it's baking.  And it's why onions get delicious. A note: Chop more onions than you think you'll need.  They'll reduce and cook down quite a bit, and you'll look at the amount and think: but I cut so much more than that! Yeah, you did, but still. I julienned my onions for this process, but really any way will work, as long as it's fairly thin. A mandoline is a great tool for this, as you'll ...

It's high time for flag-waving and patriotic singing and chanting...because it's Independence Day holiday weekend, and you know what else that means. 1. Cookouts. 2. Fireworks. 3. Drinking (for some of course, not all). These three things are in no order of importance, and depending on who you're talking to, one activity may take great precedence over the other two.  Some choose to celebrate our birthday by drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and Budweiser, some choose to celebrate it by roasting hot dogs and hamburgers, and some choose to celebrate it by shooting off bottle rockets without their parents' permission... That last one? That was my husband, mid-1980s, and yes, he burned himself badly.  He did not tell his parents and tried to soothe the burn with a milkshake from Burger King.  They eventually found out and yes, he got in trouble.  That, too, is what the Fourth is all about...doing things with your cousins/siblings/grandparents that your parents would NEV...